May 13, 2022
top trending topics
❤️ Empathy can be learned. Here’s how.
⤵️ Reduce your risk of divorce & protect your future marriage.
😘 Must-do dates before you & your fiancé say “I Do!”
💍 You’re engaged, and everyone has advice for you. Here’s how to handle it.
⏰ Taking time to self-reflect can help you find out if you’re a passive-aggressive fiancé.
tips & tricks for growth
work through resentment with your future spouse
Resentment cannot be taken lightly, but it does have a relatively straightforward solution. Each partner will have to communicate – probably in a series of conversations. Each will have to express themselves appropriately and honestly. And each will have to listen to the other in good faith.
The goal is to compromise and implement a plan. The beauty of compromise and a plan is that they’re tangible and measurable.
So how can you put together a plan and work toward compromise?
Here’s a 6-step process you can use as a guide.
✅ Catch it early.
✅ Communication is everything.
✅ The source of the resentment in your future marriage needs to be front and center.
✅ Compromise is the goal. Both partners need to win so the relationship wins.
✅ Develop a plan for handling the situation(s) in the future. Write it down.
✅ Last but not least, start again with a clean slate. In good faith, you move forward.
This isn’t an end-all-be-all on how to stop resentment. But instead, use these steps to help guide you and your future spouse toward a compromise and a plan you both agree on that works for your relationship.
communicate in a healthier way with these tips
It’s not exactly news that healthy communication is the foundation of a happy and satisfying marriage. But let’s be honest: As you interact with the one you love the most, it’s easy to let healthy communication habits slip.
Marital communication is a skill. And like any other skill, you can learn and constantly improve upon it. Fortunately, it’s not super complex. Using a few good tools can keep communication heading in a healthy direction for your future marriage.
Here are a few communication tools you can try today:
⌚ Precision Timing – Asking, Is this a good time (to ask a question or to tell you about such-and-such), cuts down on a ton of frustration and gives attention to your communication.
🔎 Laser Focus – Turn off the phone or the game. Face your partner and make eye contact. Listen as if they’re the only thing that matters at that moment. (Because, really, they are!)
✨ Crystal Clarity – Practice responding with, “So what I’m hearing you say is…” Also, make your thoughts, feelings, wants, and needs as clear as possible. Be patient with your fiancé as they try to understand; they aren’t you.
what we’re lovin’
This week’s picks come from Anna Reeves McCutcheon, an active participant in the Chattanooga Fellows Initiative, former FTF Intern, and now the Social Media Manager here at First Things First! Take a peek at her recommendations for this week because they are just THAT GOOD. Check ’em out 👀:
📖 The Nightingale by Kristin Hannah– Great summer reading book! This book is for you if you are fascinated with the WWII era, thrilling vignettes made up of characters you’ll fall in love with, or growing in empathy for other people.
📚 Speaking of summer reading, I challenge you to do a book exchange with friends! Plan with 3+ friends. Each person draws a name and sends their favorite book to them:)
☕ My Starbucks order- the “AR Special” as my friends call it. You just order an iced latte with peppermint and oat milk! It’s truly the best.
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Know a friend who would love reading all the relationship goodness we’ve packed in here? Go ahead and share it with them!