March 11, 2022
top trending topics
😞 When it seems like everything is falling apart, what you think & do matters.
🗣️ Parents sometimes argue- it’s normal. Here’s how to explain it to your child.
💛 Be the supportive parent that your child needs & wants.
😡 Help yourself heal the anger of having an absent father.
🤯 It’s totally normal to have bad days with your kids! But, here’s how they can strengthen your relationship.
tips & tricks for growth
parents! you don’t have to feel constant burnout
If you’ve been a parent for at least a couple of hours, you know that parenting stress is real. But when it consumes you, burnout sets in. There’s hope, though. You can stop the cycle of parental burnout.
The stress isn’t going anywhere, but there are some healthy ways to lessen the pressure.
💛 Surround yourself with a community.
Action step: Text one person and invite them over. Ask them to hold you accountable for taking time for yourself.
💛 Take care of yourself.
Action step: Put down your phone. Go get a glass of water, and take deep breaths as you drink. Make it your goal to do that three times today.
💛 Give yourself grace.
Action step: Allow yourself to make mistakes. Tell yourself, “My child doesn’t need a perfect parent – they need a present parent.”
💛 Take a break when you need it.
Action step: Schedule an hour this week to take a break. Right now, ask your support system to help you make this happen.
💛 Set boundaries.
Action step: Ask, “What have I said yes to that I don’t have margin for?” Then do your best to take that off your list.
Parenting isn’t easy, but you can do it. If you already feel burned out and have nothing left to give, reach out to a professional, coach or counselor. You don’t have to walk this road alone.
setting boundaries with adult children
The majority of today’s parents seem to struggle with letting their kids experience the ups and downs of self-sufficiency.Are parents too quick to come to the rescue? Are we too accessible today?
Allison Bottke’s challenges with her own adult son led her to write Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children. After years of being her son’s failsafe, she realized she was not helping him.“I looked at what was happening around me and came to the conclusion this really isn’t about my son, it’s about me,” says Bottke. “Instead of focusing on what I thought he needed to do, I really needed to focus on changes I needed to make. The steps I came up with led to the acronym – SANITY, which I had a lot more of when I implemented the steps.”
Here’s what SANITY means:
- Stop: We need to change how we respond to our kids. Don’t try to change them. Stop the money flow. End our own negative behavior. “For so long we were in the midst of drama, chaos and crisis,” Bottke says. “I had to stop letting my son push my buttons and I needed to stop accepting the consequences for his behavior.”
- Assemble supportive people: Find other people who are experiencing this or who have adult children and have already been down this road. Enlist their support. It is powerful to know you are not the only one.
- Nip excuses in the bud: It is easy to let excuses coax you into doing things you would not typically do.
- Implement rules and boundaries: Make a plan, implement it and stick to it. Meet with your young adult and share the plan.
- Trust your instincts: If your gut or your intuition is telling you something isn’t right or you shouldn’t be doing this – trust your gut. “For me this meant getting in touch with my own life and fixing the messy person in my life – me,” Bottke says.
- Yield everything: There is a plan for your child’s life and you do not control it. Swooping in and trying to fix it hinders their ability to learn and grow. Love them and support them, but don’t enable them.
what we’re lovin’
This week’s picks come from Caroline Henry, wife to her husband of 3 years, Will, new momma to a little girl, and the Content Strategist here at First Things First. Take a peek at her recommendations for this week because they are just THAT GOOD. Check ’em out 👀:
🎨 These easy paint-by-numbers are so much fun to do either with your kids or on your own to relax!
📲 @thedeclutteredmom on Instagram– She’s SO encouraging and real about the challenges parents face when it comes to keeping the house clean.
🧹 Speaking of cleaning… Get your kids to help clean up their toys by playing “Bulldozer.”Everyone rolls around on the floor with their eyes closed, and when you run into something, you have to put it away! Works like a charm!
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