March 04, 2022
top trending topics
🚩 9 red flags that a porn addiction could be present.
🛠️ Trust is crucial in marriage. Rebuild yours with these tips!
😉 If your spouse often wants sex more than you, here’s what you can do.
💔 If you love your spouse, but you’re thinking about having an affair, consider these things…
🌷 Date nights on us! Check this DIY date night out.
tips & tricks for growth
help your spouse feel more appreciated
It’s been shown that being actively grateful (that is, actively showing your appreciation) is linked to higher levels of joy, optimism, and other positive emotions, and feeling less lonely. Feeling valued and appreciated by your spouse has been found to be a major indicator (the number one indicator in one study) of a happy, healthy marriage.
Sara Algoe, a Ph.D. researcher from the University of North Carolina, gives us perhaps one of the most convincing pieces of evidence out there pointing to the importance of appreciation in marriage. She proposes what she terms as the find-remind-and-bind theory of gratitude.
💛 The basic idea: showing appreciation and gratitude helps you find a new relationship partner (remember the appreciation you showed your spouse when you were first dating?) or remindsyou of the relationship partner you already have. And (here’s the big kicker): showing gratitude to your spouse actually binds you together for a stronger relationship.
So, yeah, showing appreciation is kind of a big deal. Especially if what you want is a happy marriage and your spouse feels unappreciated.
respect totally matters in marriage; here’s why
Respect may best be defined as the way you show true appreciation for another person. Respect is an action, not just a feeling. It’s a declaration of value for someone. We demonstrate respect by how we behave toward another person.
And it’s fairly easy to recognize when someone respects (or disrespects) another person. The show of respect is usually thought of as coming from a place of inferiority. Pictures come to mind of soldiers standing at attention when high-ranking officers enter the room, or of hard-working employees speaking highly of their boss.
Respect in a healthy marriage is different, though. It’s a two-way street. Both parties in the relationship crave and deserve equal respect from the other, and rightly so. Respect is shown in marriage not because one person is more superior than the other, but because each person recognizes the value of the other.
In marriage, mutual respect matters. But why? Why does mutual respect play such a critical part in a healthy marriage?
🤝 Mutual respect eliminates the fear of being different.
🤝 Mutual respect upholds healthy boundaries in the relationship.
🤝 Mutual respect compels you to “check your jersey” when you have disagreements.
🤝 Mutual respect strengthens the friendship between you and your spouse.
Find the ways to appreciate your spouse—differences and all—and show that appreciation on a daily basis.
what we’re lovin’
This week’s picks come from Mitchell Qualls, husband of 17 years to his wife Dalet, a dad of 2, and the Vice President of Operations here at First Things First. Take a peek at his recommendations for this week because they are just THAT GOOD. Check ’em out 👀:
🎬 Our family began a new tradition this year, and we absolutely love it! We started a family movie night utilizing the Family Movie Night Journal. Every Friday night is dinner and a movie and a different family member gets to pick. This journal helps us record all the fun, too. Take turns picking with your spouse and have some fun!
📲 If you want to laugh, you have to check out The Holderness Family. Kim and Penn do hilarious videos about everything from parenting, marriage, movies, and anxiety. Their content is phenomenal. You can follow them on TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook, too.
🚂 We love game night. Our go to game is Mexican Train Dominoes. Invite some other couples over and dive into a game.
share the love
Know a friend who would love reading all the relationship goodness we’ve packed in here? Go ahead and share it with them!