January 20, 2023
top trending topics
🤕 Ouch! Your fiancé talked behind your back. Now what??
💓 You can make your hunny feel loved when you validate their feelings.
🤗 You’re about to become a spouse- Prepare yourself for your new role!
😰 Burnout is SO real. Here’s how you can help your spouse through it!
👩❤️💋👨 Wedding planning is fun and all, but are you planning for life after I do?
tips & tricks for growth
make sure they’re really right for you
It’s normal to get nervous about important decisions. Asking yourself, “Am I marrying the right person?” is one of those nervy decisions because marriage is a lifelong commitment, not something that will come out easily in the wash if you’ve not made the right choice. So you weigh the odds, make a list of pros and cons, mull over some what-ifs. But at some point, when the doubt overshadows the confidence in the relationship, you may find yourself asking a new question: “Should I break off my engagement?”
Here are a few signs the answer to that question may be “yes.”:
🤔 Isolation from family or friends.
If your fiancé is keeping you from seeing or talking to your friends and family for reasons that don’t have your best interest in mind, then consider breaking it off. When you marry, you become a unit, but within that, it’s essential to have a community of people you can lean on when life gets challenging. It’s impossible to be everything you need for each other. Putting that kind of expectation on each other can be crippling. Though you may go to each other first, it doesn’t mean they will always be the last person you talk to in order to work something out.
🤔 Marrying because you’ve been together forever and it’s just the logical next step.
If you’re only getting married because you don’t feel like starting over with someone else or don’t want to be lonely—a lifelong commitment with someone isn’t a way to fix that. Being married to someone you feel like you “settled for” isn’t going to lead to a happy or fulfilled life. You could quickly begin to resent them or live with regret.
If it’s been forever because you two were working toward being in the right place for your relationship and you can’t imagine life without each other, that is entirely different.
👉 If these have you questioning things, you might want to read through the rest…
taking care of yourself while caring for others
Have you ever felt like you’ve cared so much you just can’t anymore? Like you’re exhausted from taking care of others?😰 Even if you’ve never heard of compassion fatigue, you may be familiar with what it is. Maybe more familiar than you’d like.
What is compassion fatigue?!
Psychologist Charles Figley says it’s “a state of exhaustion and dysfunction, biologically, physiologically and emotionally, as a result of prolonged exposure to compassion stress.” In essence, it’s feeling like you have no more empathy to give…
Let’s face it: Life can be downright draining.
🤕 The root of compassion fatigue is in caring for others. It would be easy to confuse compassion fatigue with burnout, but they’re a bit different.
So, how can you take proper steps to care for yourself too?
let’s get REALatable
It’s time to take things a step further & get a little intimate with a Q&A. What do you say?😉 Learn a little bit about the faces behind all of this relationship gold. This week we’re chatting with James Woods, husband to Marquita, dad of 6, and the Community Outreach Specialist here at First Things First. Let’s get REALatable💛 & learn a little bit about him:
Q: What’s a hidden talent of yours?
A: 🕺Some might not know that I really love to dance! I’ve been performing for years– In my dancing days, I even opened up for Destiny’s Child (*Gasp*), modeled clothes and performed in tons of talent shows.
Q: Least favorite type of food?
A: 🥦 I’m a picky eater and I don’t like broccoli. Even the smell of it really bothers me! Sorry, I know you need your greens but I’m definitely working on eating them more.
Q: Who’s made a big impact on you and why?
A: ✨ T.D. Jakes has really made a strong impact on me! The delivery of his messages are powerful and have helped me through a lot of tough times!
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