What You Need to Know About Positive Parenting

How you parent can strengthen the bond you have with your child.
By Gena Ellis
June 9, 2021

When you first learn that you’re expecting a baby, you experience tons of thoughts, feelings, and emotions. If you’re honest, one of them may include sheer terror. You’re now responsible for the growth and development of another human being. NO pressure, right?! Maybe you’re like me: You went to a bookstore where you found shelves and shelves of parenting books to get information. Maybe you Googled “how to be the best parent”… and got 654,000,000 results. 

It can be overwhelming, but guess what? You don’t need ALL those books OR over half a million google results to get it right.

Here’s a simple breakdown of some parenting styles to help you sort it all out.

Authoritative Parenting 

This parenting style utilizes punishment, but the parent explains to the child the reason for the punishment. Children learn from their mistakes, and parents provide clear boundaries and structure. Parents are nurturing, caring, and loving toward their children.

Authoritarian Parenting

This parenting style is the epitome of “My way or the highway.” Parents make all the decisions without any input from the child. The goal is obedience, so punishment is utilized. This style isn’t known for lots of affection. Parents set high expectations and enforce strict rules. 

Permissive Parenting

The focus of this parenting style is to make the child happy at all costs. Parents often give in to the desires of their children. They act more like a friend than a parent. Rules and expectations are limited or nonexistent.

Neglectful Parenting

In this parenting style, parents offer no attention to their children. They don’t respond to their child’s needs. They can be detached or uninvolved. There is no structure for the children or guidance from the parents. 

Helicopter Parenting

In this parenting style, parents hover over their children. They intervene in their child’s life inappropriately. Instead of letting them learn from experiences, parents come to the rescue to prevent their children from failure.  

Attachment Parenting

This parenting style aims to build a close bond with the young child by breastfeeding, co-sleeping, and babywearing. Because of this bond, parents are highly attentive and responsive to their child’s needs.

There’s also positive parenting…

Here’s what you need to know about Positive Parenting:

  • It’s a philosophy (mindset) that sees each child as an individual who needs to belong and have significance. Additionally, you respect and see value in your children, not as your mini-me, but for the beautiful human he or she is. 
  • Its focus is on developing a positive relationship with children by spending one-on-one, intentional, and scheduled time with them every day. 
  • It encourages parents to teach their kids how they would like them to behave instead of what they don’t want them to do. For example, instead of saying, “Don’t run in the house!” you’d emphasize that “we walk while inside the house.”
  • It helps parents get to know their children: their likes, dislikes, strengths, and growth areas. As a result, parents are realistic about each child’s capabilities and limitations. As a parent of 3 sons, it was easy for me to treat and relate to them as a collective group rather than individually. Now, I’m keenly aware of my sons as individuals.
  • It reminds parents that their kids are watching and taking their cues from them. Children more often do what we do rather than what we say. You are your child’s model for behavior. They’re always watching.

No matter what parenting style you choose, it’s essential to use one that bolsters the bond you have with your child. Additionally, your parenting style has to grow and change as your child grows and changes over time. Remember, parenting is a process of learning about yourself and your child; trust the process.

Other helpful blogs:

5 Ways Positive Parenting Created a Lifelong Connection With Your Child

How Positive Parenting Impacts a Child’s Risk of Substance Abuse

My Spouse and I Disagree About Parenting

What To Do When Your Spouse Is A Bad Parent

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