Knowing who you are individually and together can make you stronger.
We’re all wired differently, and the differences are never more evident than in marriage. While navigating differences in relationships can present challenges, you’ll go deeper as your relationship grows and you become a student of your spouse. Couples often encounter differences when one spouse is introverted and the other is extroverted. This can be a pretty…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/Untitled-1-01-2.png5001200Mitchell Quallshttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngMitchell Qualls2021-07-16 12:42:272021-08-24 13:50:20What Introverts Married to Extroverts Need to Know
These tricks can help you understand and appreciate each other!
I’m sure you want to understand and appreciate your spouse, and it can be hard sometimes. But I’m here to tell you: When extroverts are married to introverts, it can be a good thing — a great thing, even! You just have to figure a few things out and appreciate your differences. My spouse and…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/Untitled-5-01-2.png5001200Gena Ellishttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngGena Ellis2021-07-13 11:30:422021-07-16 11:11:39Tips for Extroverts Married to Introverts
Here are two important things you can do right now.
Let me state the obvious and say it’s been a rough year or so. With the outbreak of the COVID-19 pandemic, reality has come the closest it’s ever been to a sci-fi novel. And it’s literally messed with our heads. Society as a whole experienced a significant uptick in relationship and mental health issues. And…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/Untitled-5-01.png5001200Chris Ownbyhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngChris Ownby2021-07-06 15:49:492021-07-16 11:44:17How to Help Your Spouse With Post-Pandemic Anxiety
A successful marriage may require you to adjust what you expect.
Dear Newlywed, How was the wedding? Did you enjoy the reception? Were all of your friends and family there to watch you join your life with your true love? Did you get to go on the honeymoon of your dreams? Or maybe you are planning it after all of the restrictions are lifted? Now that…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/Untitled-2-01.png5001200Gena Ellishttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngGena Ellis2021-07-06 10:11:042021-07-16 12:06:41Newlywed Expectations Not Being Met in Marriage
To the husband who hurt his wife: Marriage is tough, and we all make mistakes. I’ve made some big ones in my marriage. I don’t know what mistake you made or what you did to hurt your wife, but I do know this: You have a chance to save your marriage. Choosing to do so…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/Untitled-18-01.png5001200Mitchell Quallshttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngMitchell Qualls2021-07-01 14:31:062021-07-16 12:47:12To the Husband Who Hurt His Wife
Find out what you can and can't do about the green-eyed monster called jealousy.
You may look at your life and say: Money’s decent. Job is stable — good social life. I get along with lots of people. I’m winning. But somehow, you still feel like you’re losing. Why? Because if your spouse is jealous of you, it can feel like it’s ruining your marriage. That’s a tough place…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/Untitled-10-01.png5001200Reggie Madisonhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngReggie Madison2021-06-28 14:48:502021-07-16 12:38:27My Spouse is Jealous of Me and It’s Ruining My Marriage
Jealousy is a word that gets thrown around a lot, and we often treat jealousy like it’s something to be proud of. For instance, if you think you have something that others want to have, you might say things like: My sister is jealous of me because I’m our Mom’s favorite. My friend is jealous…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/Untitled-7-01.png5001200Gena Ellishttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngGena Ellis2021-06-25 12:20:032021-07-16 12:34:11How to Stop Being So Jealous of Your Spouse
There may be more to apology than just saying the words.
I’m sorry. Let’s face it — these two little words are packed with meaning, depending on the situation. I’m sorry I screwed up. I’m sorry you feel that way. I am sorry, but it wasn’t my fault. I’m sorry you’re a jerk. Apologies matter in marriage. But we know all apologies aren’t equal. It’s not…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/Untitled-6-01-2.png5001200Chris Ownbyhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngChris Ownby2021-06-25 10:23:022021-07-16 12:22:34Should You Apologize to Your Spouse for Something You Didn’t Do?
If intimacy is lacking, you'll want to find out why.
A healthy marriage is built upon connection and intimacy, but intimacy and sex are not the same. Connection in five types of intimacy (emotional, intellectual, experiential, spiritual and sexual) leads to a healthier, happier, more fulfilling marriage. But when one type is missing, it can have a serious negative impact on your relationship. After all,…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/Untitled-1-01-1.png5001200Mitchell Quallshttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngMitchell Qualls2021-06-24 12:20:412022-06-24 15:02:39What is Intimacy Anorexia and How to Handle it in Marriage
Use these tips to move toward the relationship you want.
You want a marriage where you both work together and are free to be yourselves. However, if your freedom to think and make decisions that reflect your ideas and desires is a little, well, stifled, you may be feeling manipulated. Nobody wants to feel that way. If that’s the case, you’re probably wondering how to…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/Untitled-17-01.png8542048Reggie Madisonhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngReggie Madison2021-06-21 16:45:052022-02-10 11:31:34How to Deal with Manipulation in Your Marriage
I know I’m not the only one who finds the task of hunting down the “coolest” and most thoughtful Father’s Day present superbly difficult. Your challenge has probably been trying to find “The Thing” that perfectly encapsulates how amazing of a father your husband is. IMPOSSIBLE. Sure, there’s the Home Depot gift card, or the…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/Untitled-4-01-1.png8542048Anna Reeves McCutcheonhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngAnna Reeves McCutcheon2021-06-15 14:13:532021-06-18 15:29:0610 Ways to Affirm Your Husband as a Dad
Arguments can feel like a chess match. You both strategically state your case like seasoned lawyers, presenting key evidence to prove you are right. Other times it’s more like a boxing match, verbally duking it out, and sometimes coming away emotionally cut and bruised. Disagreements happen in marriage. It’s normal. But there are healthy and…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/Conflict-01.png10422500Chris Ownbyhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngChris Ownby2021-06-10 13:42:112021-08-24 11:55:418 Things You Should Never Do During an Argument With Your Spouse
Build intimacy, connect and do life well together.
How’d you get stuck in a sex rut? It’s just life. It’s normal and to be expected. More importantly, how do you get out? You know, fun, passionate, surprising, and playful sex! Here are some tips to keep sex healthy, hot, and happenin’ in your marriage. 1. Talk About Sex. This is the gateway right…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/5-Tips-To-Keep-Sex-Healthy-In-Your-Marriage0A-01.png8542048John Daumhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJohn Daum2021-06-02 13:53:432021-11-10 14:02:285 Tips To Keep Sex Healthy In Your Marriage
I love talking about sex. No, not in a pervy way. Let me explain: I think more problems happen when sex is not discussed than when it is, especially among married couples. Get this: even nerdy science says couples who talk about sex have much healthier… and dare I say, steamier… sex lives than those…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/BlogPic-Sex-talk-01.png9172048Chris Ownbyhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngChris Ownby2021-05-28 16:10:252021-11-30 15:27:107 Questions Every Couple Needs to Ask Each Other to Improve Their Sex Life
When you both bring your whole and best selves to the table, your relationship benefits.
When I first sat down to write this blog, I asked myself, “Why me? Why am I writing a blog on how to understand a strong-willed spouse?” The answer followed quickly: “YOU ARE A STRONG-WILLED SPOUSE.” I must confess this is true. I was a strong-willed child who now is a strong-willed spouse, and I…
Let’s be clear about one thing: It’s inappropriate to talk negatively or disclose sensitive personal details about anyone behind their back. We have words for this sort of behavior: Gossip. Slander. Badmouthing. Talkin’ sh… mack. When your spouse does this to you, it feels extra hurtful and violating. When your spouse’s words find their way…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/GossipySpousePic-01-2.png10722048John Daumhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJohn Daum2021-05-27 10:08:012022-08-25 14:44:43What to Do When Your Spouse Talks Badly About You Behind Your Back
Connect, grow, and course-correct. Your marriage will thank you!
In your marriage, have you ever: Let an issue fester to the point it felt impossible to talk about? Left the kids somewhere because you thought your spouse would get them? Worked late and forgot an important family event? Been disappointed about something but never stopped to work through it? Staying on the same page…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/flavia-gava-ul6CnGAlQRM-unsplash-scaled.jpg8772048Reggie Madisonhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngReggie Madison2021-04-29 11:49:092021-08-25 11:41:45Steps to a Productive Marriage Check-In
It starts with a desire to see them happy, at peace, and connected.
What Does It Mean to Put Your Spouse First? I remember the conversation like it was yesterday. The Puzzled Look on my daughter’s face turned to a smile, and then came the proverbial rolling of the eyes (and that’s a good thing). Here’s the conversation: Daughter: You’re really not going to be at our basketball…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/pexels-jonathan-borba-6520595-scaled-e1619642351186.jpg8522048Reggie Madisonhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngReggie Madison2021-04-28 16:39:282022-08-04 12:20:59What Does It Mean to Put Your Spouse First?
There are many common challenges and misunderstandings.
“In the English language there are orphans and widows, but there is no word for the parents who lose a child.” ~ Jodi Picoult Children bury their parents up on a hill. It’s the sad, natural cycle of life. But parents bury their kids deep in their hearts for the rest of their lives. Then,…
Married, yet hiding from your spouse. Such is life when you don’t feel emotional safety in your marriage. There are parts of you, your personality, dreams, feelings, or thoughts, locked inside, unavailable to your spouse. Exposing them puts you at risk for rejection, criticism, or neglect. You don’t wanna live like this anymore. You want…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/marc-a-sporys-wHaQ4XJ9SgY-unsplash-1-scaled.jpg8922048Reggie Madisonhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngReggie Madison2021-04-20 13:31:122022-04-25 11:34:29What To Do When Your Marriage Lacks Emotional Safety
What Introverts Married to Extroverts Need to Know
We’re all wired differently, and the differences are never more evident than in marriage. While navigating differences in relationships can present challenges, you’ll go deeper as your relationship grows and you become a student of your spouse. Couples often encounter differences when one spouse is introverted and the other is extroverted. This can be a pretty…
Tips for Extroverts Married to Introverts
I’m sure you want to understand and appreciate your spouse, and it can be hard sometimes. But I’m here to tell you: When extroverts are married to introverts, it can be a good thing — a great thing, even! You just have to figure a few things out and appreciate your differences. My spouse and…
How to Help Your Spouse With Post-Pandemic Anxiety
Let me state the obvious and say it’s been a rough year or so. With the outbreak of the COVID-19 pandemic, reality has come the closest it’s ever been to a sci-fi novel. And it’s literally messed with our heads. Society as a whole experienced a significant uptick in relationship and mental health issues. And…
Newlywed Expectations Not Being Met in Marriage
Dear Newlywed, How was the wedding? Did you enjoy the reception? Were all of your friends and family there to watch you join your life with your true love? Did you get to go on the honeymoon of your dreams? Or maybe you are planning it after all of the restrictions are lifted? Now that…
To the Husband Who Hurt His Wife
To the husband who hurt his wife: Marriage is tough, and we all make mistakes. I’ve made some big ones in my marriage. I don’t know what mistake you made or what you did to hurt your wife, but I do know this: You have a chance to save your marriage. Choosing to do so…
My Spouse is Jealous of Me and It’s Ruining My Marriage
You may look at your life and say: Money’s decent. Job is stable — good social life. I get along with lots of people. I’m winning. But somehow, you still feel like you’re losing. Why? Because if your spouse is jealous of you, it can feel like it’s ruining your marriage. That’s a tough place…
How to Stop Being So Jealous of Your Spouse
Jealousy is a word that gets thrown around a lot, and we often treat jealousy like it’s something to be proud of. For instance, if you think you have something that others want to have, you might say things like: My sister is jealous of me because I’m our Mom’s favorite. My friend is jealous…
Should You Apologize to Your Spouse for Something You Didn’t Do?
I’m sorry. Let’s face it — these two little words are packed with meaning, depending on the situation. I’m sorry I screwed up. I’m sorry you feel that way. I am sorry, but it wasn’t my fault. I’m sorry you’re a jerk. Apologies matter in marriage. But we know all apologies aren’t equal. It’s not…
What is Intimacy Anorexia and How to Handle it in Marriage
A healthy marriage is built upon connection and intimacy, but intimacy and sex are not the same. Connection in five types of intimacy (emotional, intellectual, experiential, spiritual and sexual) leads to a healthier, happier, more fulfilling marriage. But when one type is missing, it can have a serious negative impact on your relationship. After all,…
How to Deal with Manipulation in Your Marriage
You want a marriage where you both work together and are free to be yourselves. However, if your freedom to think and make decisions that reflect your ideas and desires is a little, well, stifled, you may be feeling manipulated. Nobody wants to feel that way. If that’s the case, you’re probably wondering how to…
10 Ways to Affirm Your Husband as a Dad
I know I’m not the only one who finds the task of hunting down the “coolest” and most thoughtful Father’s Day present superbly difficult. Your challenge has probably been trying to find “The Thing” that perfectly encapsulates how amazing of a father your husband is. IMPOSSIBLE. Sure, there’s the Home Depot gift card, or the…
8 Things You Should Never Do During an Argument With Your Spouse
Arguments can feel like a chess match. You both strategically state your case like seasoned lawyers, presenting key evidence to prove you are right. Other times it’s more like a boxing match, verbally duking it out, and sometimes coming away emotionally cut and bruised. Disagreements happen in marriage. It’s normal. But there are healthy and…
5 Tips To Keep Sex Healthy In Your Marriage
How’d you get stuck in a sex rut? It’s just life. It’s normal and to be expected. More importantly, how do you get out? You know, fun, passionate, surprising, and playful sex! Here are some tips to keep sex healthy, hot, and happenin’ in your marriage. 1. Talk About Sex. This is the gateway right…
7 Questions Every Couple Needs to Ask Each Other to Improve Their Sex Life
I love talking about sex. No, not in a pervy way. Let me explain: I think more problems happen when sex is not discussed than when it is, especially among married couples. Get this: even nerdy science says couples who talk about sex have much healthier… and dare I say, steamier… sex lives than those…
5 Tips for Understanding Your Strong-Willed Spouse
When I first sat down to write this blog, I asked myself, “Why me? Why am I writing a blog on how to understand a strong-willed spouse?” The answer followed quickly: “YOU ARE A STRONG-WILLED SPOUSE.” I must confess this is true. I was a strong-willed child who now is a strong-willed spouse, and I…
What to Do When Your Spouse Talks Badly About You Behind Your Back
Let’s be clear about one thing: It’s inappropriate to talk negatively or disclose sensitive personal details about anyone behind their back. We have words for this sort of behavior: Gossip. Slander. Badmouthing. Talkin’ sh… mack. When your spouse does this to you, it feels extra hurtful and violating. When your spouse’s words find their way…
Steps to a Productive Marriage Check-In
In your marriage, have you ever: Let an issue fester to the point it felt impossible to talk about? Left the kids somewhere because you thought your spouse would get them? Worked late and forgot an important family event? Been disappointed about something but never stopped to work through it? Staying on the same page…
What Does It Mean to Put Your Spouse First?
What Does It Mean to Put Your Spouse First? I remember the conversation like it was yesterday. The Puzzled Look on my daughter’s face turned to a smile, and then came the proverbial rolling of the eyes (and that’s a good thing). Here’s the conversation: Daughter: You’re really not going to be at our basketball…
Grieving Infertility and Miscarriages
“In the English language there are orphans and widows, but there is no word for the parents who lose a child.” ~ Jodi Picoult Children bury their parents up on a hill. It’s the sad, natural cycle of life. But parents bury their kids deep in their hearts for the rest of their lives. Then,…
What To Do When Your Marriage Lacks Emotional Safety
Married, yet hiding from your spouse. Such is life when you don’t feel emotional safety in your marriage. There are parts of you, your personality, dreams, feelings, or thoughts, locked inside, unavailable to your spouse. Exposing them puts you at risk for rejection, criticism, or neglect. You don’t wanna live like this anymore. You want…
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