You probably don’t need convincing that ongoing, open communication is vital to a healthy, growing relationship. If we’re honest, it’s a struggle to make it happen in our marriages. We all have our own reasons for why quality (and quantity) communication is hard for us, but I want to encourage you. I’ve yet to meet…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/Untitled-4-01.png5001200John Daumhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJohn Daum2022-03-03 09:57:482022-03-03 11:04:28Questions Couples Can Ask To Improve Communication
You might phrase it differently, but when you’ve lost romantic feelings for your spouse, you’re probably feeling something like: That romantic feeling is going, going… gone now. What happened? First, we need to make sure we are talking about the same things when using words like romance and love. These words can mean a variety…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/02/Untitled-21-01.png5001200John Daumhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJohn Daum2022-02-28 13:51:072024-01-02 11:14:11What To Do When You’ve Lost Romantic Feelings For Your Spouse
Intimacy can be a scary word for some people, but it is an essential part of keeping romance strong in your marriage. We often think of intimacy as sex, but it’s so much more than that. It’s how we connect at the deepest levels. Connecting in one of the five types of intimacy (emotional, intellectual,…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/02/Untitled-6-01.png5001200Mitchell Quallshttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngMitchell Qualls2022-02-16 13:22:542022-06-24 15:12:28How to Keep Romance Strong in Marriage: Part 2
Knowing each other more deeply is within your reach!
Valentine’s Day has come and gone, but the romance doesn’t have to end. For some, the weeks leading up to and away from the “love holiday” are filled with romantic gestures. Others may have lost that loving feeling. Maybe the romance has faded in your marriage. Life gets hectic, and we lose focus. Work demands…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/02/Untitled-4-01-1.png5001200Mitchell Quallshttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngMitchell Qualls2022-02-15 14:53:342022-06-24 15:10:14How to Keep Romance Strong in Marriage: Part 1
Valentine’s Day is special. It’s a day of love – a day to shower our significant other with flowers, gifts, and romance. The expectations can be overwhelming. But the day doesn’t have to be. It’s a day for the two of you, so make it memorable in your own way. It may mean a night…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/02/Untitled-3-01.png5001200Mitchell Quallshttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngMitchell Qualls2022-02-08 15:03:142022-02-09 14:29:265 Ways to Make this Valentine’s Special
Working toward growth and connection (when possible) can do wonders for your relationship.
Navigating changes in your spouse can be difficult and serious. How serious? If changes in your spouse cause you emotional or physical harm, consider reevaluating your relationship to determine if your situation is safe. That serious. Short of that, even well-intentioned, positive changes in your spouse can still be distressing, frustrating, and confusing. Change! =…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/02/Untitled-1-01.png5001200John Daumhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJohn Daum2022-02-08 11:15:102022-02-09 10:21:39What To Do When Your Spouse Has Changed
When you handle disappointment well, you can grow closer.
Disappointment is a revelation. Disappointment in marriage – doubly so. Sadly, we usually don’t sit with it long enough to learn all we should. When you disappoint your spouse, you are faced with several choices. We’ll look at some practical actions you can take, but first, you need to address your relationship with disappointment. Remember,…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/Untitled-6-01.png5001200John Daumhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJohn Daum2022-01-21 12:05:472022-01-28 10:55:01What To Do When You Disappoint Your Spouse
Happy New Year! Did you make all your resolutions? What are your goals for this year? Whether you made some or not, I’d like to challenge you to add one resolution: Make this year one of growth for your marriage. Marriage isn’t easy, but a great marriage is achievable with intentionality and commitment. You can…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/Untitled-28-01.png5001200Mitchell Quallshttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngMitchell Qualls2022-01-01 12:30:002022-06-24 15:11:23Six Good Habits to Start for Your Marriage in the New Year
A healthy response to disappointment can be a game-changer for your marriage.
Disappointment hurts, especially from the one you love the most. And when your spouse disappoints you, you probably experience several emotions. Anger. Frustration. Hurt. Sadness. Bewilderment. (What were they thinking? Right?) Disappointment in your spouse can spark uncertainty and shake your trust. It might even make you wonder if you can rely on them at…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/Untitled-22-01.png5001200Chris Ownbyhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngChris Ownby2021-12-20 12:02:362021-12-21 09:49:06What to Do When Your Spouse Disappoints You
Can healthy couples fight too much? How much fighting is healthy? No two people agree on everything. That’s undoubtedly true in marriage. (If it’s not true in yours, then I’d really like to meet you. And really… why are you even reading this?) The result is often misunderstanding, a failure to see eye to eye,…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/Untitled-14-01.png5001200Chris Ownbyhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngChris Ownby2021-12-14 14:34:302022-05-10 13:58:32How Much Should Healthy Couples Fight?
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/andres-molina-llqSpTigF9c-unsplash.jpg20481365Chris Ownbyhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngChris Ownby2021-11-30 15:43:452022-02-18 10:17:52What to Do When Your Spouse Has a Low Sex Drive
Being thankful in marriage is packed with research-backed benefits! I know… this sounds like the beginning of a cheesy infomercial. But unlike many infomercials, this little factoid really is backed by science. Studies show that expressing gratitude for your spouse strengthens your marriage.1 Being thankful is associated with increased long-term happiness in marriage.2 Being thankful…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/Untitled-5-01-1.png5001200Chris Ownbyhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngChris Ownby2021-11-05 15:42:412021-11-09 09:52:025 Keys to Being Thankful in Marriage
Ever had the same old fight over and over? Do you wonder why, or what in the world you can do about it? Well, there’s good news and bad news. The good news is, disagreeing with your spouse is normal. The bad news? According to Dr. John Gottman’s research, 69% of problems in relationships are…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/Untitled-1-01.png5001200Mitchell Quallshttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngMitchell Qualls2021-11-02 12:20:312021-11-10 14:04:32What to Do When You Disagree With Your Spouse
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/Untitled-1-01.png5001200John Daumhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJohn Daum2021-10-28 09:20:102022-09-23 11:57:34Are You Married To A Narcissist?
These skills can take your talk to the next level.
It’s not exactly news that healthy communication is the foundation of a happy and satisfying marriage. But let’s be honest: As you interact with the one you love the most, it’s easy to let healthy communication habits slip. Marital communication is a skill. And like any other skill, you can learn and constantly improve upon…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/Untitled-5-01.png5001200Chris Ownbyhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngChris Ownby2021-10-26 14:43:402022-11-29 12:46:395 Tools for Healthy Communication in Marriage
Disagreements provide opportunities to problem-solve together.
Some things in marriage are inevitable, like conflict. But wait. Isn’t the point of marriage to avoid conflict? To live in marital bliss and peace, happily ever after? It’s commonly thought the less you fight, the healthier your marriage. As a matter of fact, both researchers and counselors seem to agree some conflict is not…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/Untitled-3-01.png5001200Chris Ownbyhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngChris Ownby2021-10-20 12:25:142021-10-26 13:43:21Is Conflict in Marriage Inevitable?
Getting along may take time, effort, and patience.
As a newlywed, establishing and navigating relationships with in-laws can be filled with tension and pitfalls. I recall the first significant conversation with my in-laws when I felt disrespected and disconnected. The conversation went something like this: “Hey, you never call. You never come by. Do you not like us?” I remember trying to gather…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/Untitled-9-01.png5001200Gena Ellishttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngGena Ellis2021-10-13 13:44:512021-10-20 11:36:325 Tips for Distancing From Your In-Laws
You can show them you value their emotions with these tips.
Your spouse: “I can’t believe you got lunch with Tim and Stacey without me. You know I would have liked to come, but instead, I was home alone with the kids. I wish you had told me.” You: “It was just a last-minute thing. I’m sure we’ll see them again soon. You’re overreacting.” Time out!…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/Untitled-6-01.png5001200Mitchell Quallshttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngMitchell Qualls2021-10-13 11:52:362021-10-20 11:43:16How to Validate Your Spouse’s Feelings
While friends are a good thing, how they impact your marriage matters.
So, your wife has that one friend you think she always wants to talk about your problems with? Or your husband has a buddy that you think he wants to spend more time with than you? Have you ever felt that friends get in the way of your marriage? Friendships are essential, but they can…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/Untitled-4-01.png5001200Mitchell Quallshttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngMitchell Qualls2021-10-04 16:40:142021-10-05 12:07:15What to Do When Friends Are Hurting Your Marriage
I have been a resentful spouse. My spouse has also resented me. Coming up on 28 years of marriage, my wife and I have five children, and we’ve seen it all. From socks that never made it to the hamper, to financially disastrous decisions, to weaponized sex, to disagreements about parenting, to not getting simple…
https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Untitled-2-01.png5001200John Daumhttps://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJohn Daum2021-09-23 14:24:452021-11-10 14:05:37Working Through Resentment With Your Spouse
Questions Couples Can Ask To Improve Communication
You probably don’t need convincing that ongoing, open communication is vital to a healthy, growing relationship. If we’re honest, it’s a struggle to make it happen in our marriages. We all have our own reasons for why quality (and quantity) communication is hard for us, but I want to encourage you. I’ve yet to meet…
What To Do When You’ve Lost Romantic Feelings For Your Spouse
You might phrase it differently, but when you’ve lost romantic feelings for your spouse, you’re probably feeling something like: That romantic feeling is going, going… gone now. What happened? First, we need to make sure we are talking about the same things when using words like romance and love. These words can mean a variety…
How to Keep Romance Strong in Marriage: Part 2
Intimacy can be a scary word for some people, but it is an essential part of keeping romance strong in your marriage. We often think of intimacy as sex, but it’s so much more than that. It’s how we connect at the deepest levels. Connecting in one of the five types of intimacy (emotional, intellectual,…
How to Keep Romance Strong in Marriage: Part 1
Valentine’s Day has come and gone, but the romance doesn’t have to end. For some, the weeks leading up to and away from the “love holiday” are filled with romantic gestures. Others may have lost that loving feeling. Maybe the romance has faded in your marriage. Life gets hectic, and we lose focus. Work demands…
5 Ways to Make this Valentine’s Special
Valentine’s Day is special. It’s a day of love – a day to shower our significant other with flowers, gifts, and romance. The expectations can be overwhelming. But the day doesn’t have to be. It’s a day for the two of you, so make it memorable in your own way. It may mean a night…
What To Do When Your Spouse Has Changed
Navigating changes in your spouse can be difficult and serious. How serious? If changes in your spouse cause you emotional or physical harm, consider reevaluating your relationship to determine if your situation is safe. That serious. Short of that, even well-intentioned, positive changes in your spouse can still be distressing, frustrating, and confusing. Change! =…
What To Do When You Disappoint Your Spouse
Disappointment is a revelation. Disappointment in marriage – doubly so. Sadly, we usually don’t sit with it long enough to learn all we should. When you disappoint your spouse, you are faced with several choices. We’ll look at some practical actions you can take, but first, you need to address your relationship with disappointment. Remember,…
Six Good Habits to Start for Your Marriage in the New Year
Happy New Year! Did you make all your resolutions? What are your goals for this year? Whether you made some or not, I’d like to challenge you to add one resolution: Make this year one of growth for your marriage. Marriage isn’t easy, but a great marriage is achievable with intentionality and commitment. You can…
What to Do When Your Spouse Disappoints You
Disappointment hurts, especially from the one you love the most. And when your spouse disappoints you, you probably experience several emotions. Anger. Frustration. Hurt. Sadness. Bewilderment. (What were they thinking? Right?) Disappointment in your spouse can spark uncertainty and shake your trust. It might even make you wonder if you can rely on them at…
How Much Should Healthy Couples Fight?
Can healthy couples fight too much? How much fighting is healthy? No two people agree on everything. That’s undoubtedly true in marriage. (If it’s not true in yours, then I’d really like to meet you. And really… why are you even reading this?) The result is often misunderstanding, a failure to see eye to eye,…
What to Do When Your Spouse Has a Low Sex Drive
How differing drives can cause tension – and what to do about it!
5 Keys to Being Thankful in Marriage
Being thankful in marriage is packed with research-backed benefits! I know… this sounds like the beginning of a cheesy infomercial. But unlike many infomercials, this little factoid really is backed by science. Studies show that expressing gratitude for your spouse strengthens your marriage.1 Being thankful is associated with increased long-term happiness in marriage.2 Being thankful…
What to Do When You Disagree With Your Spouse
Ever had the same old fight over and over? Do you wonder why, or what in the world you can do about it? Well, there’s good news and bad news. The good news is, disagreeing with your spouse is normal. The bad news? According to Dr. John Gottman’s research, 69% of problems in relationships are…
Are You Married To A Narcissist?
5 Tools for Healthy Communication in Marriage
It’s not exactly news that healthy communication is the foundation of a happy and satisfying marriage. But let’s be honest: As you interact with the one you love the most, it’s easy to let healthy communication habits slip. Marital communication is a skill. And like any other skill, you can learn and constantly improve upon…
Is Conflict in Marriage Inevitable?
Some things in marriage are inevitable, like conflict. But wait. Isn’t the point of marriage to avoid conflict? To live in marital bliss and peace, happily ever after? It’s commonly thought the less you fight, the healthier your marriage. As a matter of fact, both researchers and counselors seem to agree some conflict is not…
5 Tips for Distancing From Your In-Laws
As a newlywed, establishing and navigating relationships with in-laws can be filled with tension and pitfalls. I recall the first significant conversation with my in-laws when I felt disrespected and disconnected. The conversation went something like this: “Hey, you never call. You never come by. Do you not like us?” I remember trying to gather…
How to Validate Your Spouse’s Feelings
Your spouse: “I can’t believe you got lunch with Tim and Stacey without me. You know I would have liked to come, but instead, I was home alone with the kids. I wish you had told me.” You: “It was just a last-minute thing. I’m sure we’ll see them again soon. You’re overreacting.” Time out!…
What to Do When Friends Are Hurting Your Marriage
So, your wife has that one friend you think she always wants to talk about your problems with? Or your husband has a buddy that you think he wants to spend more time with than you? Have you ever felt that friends get in the way of your marriage? Friendships are essential, but they can…
Working Through Resentment With Your Spouse
I have been a resentful spouse. My spouse has also resented me. Coming up on 28 years of marriage, my wife and I have five children, and we’ve seen it all. From socks that never made it to the hamper, to financially disastrous decisions, to weaponized sex, to disagreements about parenting, to not getting simple…
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