#cancelled #cancelculture #RIP

If you pay attention to the news, you know this is a thing. Cancel culture promotes the “canceling” of people, celebrities and public figures because their beliefs are thought to be offensive or problematic. In other words, a group of people comes together to ruin the reputation and livelihood of someone who has views they don’t agree with.

On the surface, this may seem like a good thing. But if you peel back the onion a bit, you might think twice about whether or not it’s a good thing, especially when it comes to relationships.

Here’s an example of how it works in real life. A few weeks ago, screenwriter and television producer Amy Berg shared headshots of Chris Evans, Chris Pine, Chris Pratt and Chris Hemsworth and stated, “One has to go.” In no time, her Tweet went viral with many saying #RIPChrisPratt. 

Since the beginning of time, people have had differing opinions about politics, religion, the importance of a college education, how to raise children, money and plenty of other topics. What’s different today is the way people choose to deal with those who don’t think the same way. If you don’t agree with my perspective, you are #cancelled and basically cease to play any kind of relevant role in my life.

In many instances, cancel culture has silenced conversations between friends, co-workers and family because it seems impossible to have a civil conversation about a topic you feel strongly about and still walk away as friends.

Some may think that cancel culture is a new thing that has come along with social media, but it’s not. It just has a platform that didn’t exist before.

Yale research psychologist Irving L. Janis first used the term “groupthink” in 1972, defining it as when people will set aside their own personal beliefs or adopt the opinion of the rest of the group even if they actually disagree or have doubts about the perspective. 

Research repeatedly has shown us that “groupthink” is very dangerous. Instead of saying what they really believe, some people will remain silent because they don’t want to risk rocking the boat or in this day and time—being #cancelled. 

Symptoms of groupthink include: perceived inability to be wrong, justifying a group’s decisions based on the supposed majority opinion, stereotyping opposing perspectives and creating barriers to alternative views or information that doesn’t support their way of thinking.

Cancel culture impacts relationships. Can we build relationships instead of canceling them?

Instead of canceling people out, let’s be respectful even in our differences because we all have something to offer.

  • Encourage conversation with people who have different opinions than yours. 
  • Focus on trying to understand where others are coming from instead of only trying to change their mind. This can help people feel heard and valued, even if you don’t agree with them. Wouldn’t you want to be treated the same way?
  • Ask questions—not in a third-degree way, but out of curiosity and wanting to learn more. 
  • Be willing to share your perspective without coming across as though your way is the only correct line of thinking.
  • Stay curious. Nobody has all the answers. There is richness in spending time with people who have differing ideas about how to solve a problem. It’s been said: two heads are better than one. That’s because many times what comes out of brainstorming together is much better than what one person can come up with on their own.

Whether we are talking cancel culture or groupthink, bullying people into agreement or attempting to shame someone for what they think doesn’t build relationships. It doesn’t change anything, either. Instead, it tears people down and creates division. Hanging with people who think and act just like you might be comforting initially, but consider this—in the end, your perspective could be wrong.

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