Teens and other singles give many reasons for having sex, but too many times the decision to “go all the way” is influenced by others rather than by a true desire to experience sex. Reasons for having sex often stem from pressures from peers, media or boyfriends and girlfriends.
It is important to look at the real reasons behind your decisions–either to have sex now (which could change the course of your life through sexually transmitted diseases, HIV/AIDS, emotional hurt or unwanted pregnancy), or to save sex for the true commitment of a monogamous marriage relationship. Here are a few of the more common reasons people give that affect their decision to have sex:
My partner puts a lot of pressure on me to have sex.
- Shouldn’t sex be a mutual decision–one you can both be happy with?
- Why should your partner’s desire to have sex override your desire to wait?
- Will you feel better about yourself if you asked your partner to wait?
- Is sex by force or manipulation love, or is it abuse?
My partner wouldn’t want to have sex if he or she didn’t love me.
- Wouldn’t a partner who really loved you respect your decision to wait?
- Is a relationship always based on sex? What about your other friendships?
- Wouldn’t you really love yourself if you asked your partner to respect your decision?
- Are you 100% sure your partner has never been with anyone else?
- How many other people has your partner ‘been in love’ with?
- If your boyfriend or girlfriend says they are a virgin, will you be their first of many partners?
If I don’t, my partner won’t like me anymore.
- Can sex make someone like you?
- If a person likes you, will they like you regardless of whether you choose to have sex with them?
- If someone really likes you, will they endanger your life or hurt your reputation just to please themselves?
- Will you like yourself better if you don’t have sex?
My partner says he/she will leave me if I don’t give in.
- Is threatening a mature way to handle disagreements in relationships?
- Will your partner use this tactic to get what they want in the future?
- If you refuse to give in, will you feel better about yourself?
- Does having sex equal a commitment?
- If you do have sex, could your partner leave you anyway?
- Would you rather choose to be in control of your decisions, or would you rather pay for them later?
It makes me feel attractive and special knowing my partner wants to sleep with me.
- Shouldn’t your partner find you special even if you don’t have sex with them?
- Wouldn’t you feel special having the self-confidence to stand by your convictions?
- Does sex make you ‘more’ special?
- How special would you feel to be emotionally secure and to share all of yourself on your wedding night?
I want to prove that I love my partner.
- Aren’t there other ways to show your partner you love them besides having sex?
- Doesn’t showing someone you love them mean you care enough to wait or to support each other’s decisions?
- Can’t you express your love for each other without having sex?
- Does love equal sex?