Engaged

Prepare for Marriage, Not Just the Wedding

Attend a premarital education class or premarital counseling.  Eighty-nine percent of married couples who attended premarital education found it to be helpful down the road.  Worthwhile classes will teach you communication skills and tools for managing conflict, along with talking about appropriate expectations.

Find a mentor couple – Seek out an older, more experienced, happily married couple to provide wisdom and support to you as you begin your adventure together.

Start thinking “We” instead of “Me” –  Marriage is a partnership.  It will serve you well to remember you are on the same team.  Make time to pursue activities together.  Explore common interests.

Talk about your expectations for marriage – What are your goals for your marriage?  How will you decide who does what around the house?  Who will manage the money?  Discuss your goals to help ensure a successful marriage. Unrealistic and unmet expectations often lead to resentment in marriage.

Be committed!  Commitment is a choice.  Believing in the permanence of your marriage will actually help your relationship over the long haul.

Talk about money.  Save yourselves a lot of future headaches by discussing your spending habits and spending plans and goals.  Spend less than you make, save a little for a rainy day and try to avoid debt.

Talk about children.  Will you have children?  How many children would you like to have?  How soon?  Will both of you work or will one of you stay home?

How will work/friends/family/social activities affect your marriage?  Discuss boundaries for your marriage.

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