Ray and Tanya Goodpasture thought they were on the other side of some tumultuous family times when their oldest daughter informed them she was pregnant.

“Megan had been on the phone with me on her way home from school telling me about a friend who was pregnant and the extreme stress she experienced facing her parents, school administrators and friends,” said Mrs. Goodpasture.  “I sensed anxiousness in Megan’s voice, hoping it was for her friend, yet fearing the conversation we had was a prelude to news of her own.  Megan arrived home and within minutes of looking into her face, I asked, ‘Something on your mind?’ to which she responded, ‘There’s something I need to tell you.  I’m pregnant.’  For 18-year-old Megan, this meant leaving her friends, her school of choice and searching for the next best alternative.”

The Goodpastures had had a good relationship with their daughter until she turned 15. As  she started wanting more freedom and independence, which is normal for that age, the relationship became strained. In the midst of the turmoil, Mr. and Mrs. Goodpasture decided to seek counseling concerning another matter involving a different child and opposing viewpoints about how the matter ought to be resolved.  Even though the process turned things upside down for a while, in the end it was well worth it.

“I truly believe the counseling process helped prepare us for dealing with Megan’s pregnancy and drew us closer as a family,” said Mrs. Goodpasture.  “I learned and am still learning that responding verses reacting proves much more beneficial in building good relationships.  That was a big change.  I did not grow up in a home where healthy relationships were modeled so learning how to communicate and handle conflict well has been huge for us.  Before the counseling I would have responded in a totally different way to Megan’s news.”

Research from the National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy shows that more than 750,000 girls will become pregnant this year.  Many of these girls will not find themselves in situations like Megan with a strong support system in place to walk along side her through her pregnancy and beyond.

According to the National Campaign, studies show that teen pregnancy is closely linked to a host of critical social issues — poverty and income, overall child well-being, out-of-wedlock births, responsible fatherhood, health issues, education, child welfare, and other risky behavior. There are also substantial public costs associated with adolescent childbearing. Consequently, teen pregnancy should be viewed not only as a reproductive health issue, but as one that works to improve all of these measures. Simply put, if more children in this country were born to parents who are ready and able to care for them, we would see a significant reduction in a host of social problems afflicting children in the United States, from school failure and crime to child abuse and neglect.

Research just released by the Jane Fonda Center for Adolescent Reproductive Health at Emory University indicates that teens are exposed to sexual messages in the media at least 500,000 times by the time they are 18 years old.  
So how do we protect our teens?  How do we deal with the bombardment of sexual content our young people are exposed to throughout their young lives – even in homes where parents are vigilant?

“Honestly, I think when the challenges intensify in parenting, specifically in the teenage years, the tendency is to pull away and accept defeat,” said Mrs. Goodpasture.  “Even when I felt our culture and the voice of the media was too big to combat, there was something compelling me onward.  I had a message for our daughter that the media could not give her: ‘I love you; I’m committed to you because you matter to me.’  When I began to communicate that message in word and action, the voices of the culture and media weren’t so loud after all.”

The National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy gives these ten tips to parents for preventing teen pregnancy.

• Be clear about your own sexual values and attitudes.

• Talk with your children early and often about sex, and be specific.

• Supervise and monitor your children and adolescents.

• Know your children’s friends and their families.

• Discourage early, frequent, and steady dating.

• Take a strong stand against your daughter dating a boy significantly older than she is.
  

Help your teenagers to have options for the future that are more attractive than early pregnancy and parenthood.

• Let your kids know that you value education highly. 

• Know what your kids are watching, reading, and listening to.
  

These first nine tips for helping your children avoid teen pregnancy work best when they occur as part of a strong, close relationship built with your child from an early age.

The teenage years are chaotic.  Young people are receiving messages about life from many different places.  Making mistakes and learning from them is all part of the process of growing up.  The Goodpastures recognized that their kids needed them during the teenage years more than ever to tell them the truth and to walk with them as they experience the different realities of growing up.  May is Teen Pregnancy Prevention Month.  Take this opportunity to reconnect with your teen and have a forthright conversation about your value system and the importance of abstinence.