“Being a single parent was really challenging,” said Kathy Jacobus, who was a single parent for 8 years. “I was a very insecure person when I found myself in the position of single parent.  I had no money and no life. I wish I had gotten involved in a support group and more involved with my church.” 
The hardest part, according to Mrs. Jacobus, was money. 
“It was hard making ends meet,” said Mrs. Jacobus. “I really didn’t do anything but work and take care of my children. My kids were my life.”
Mrs. Jacobus recalls that one of her lifesavers was the two ladies in her neighborhood who stepped in to help her as she juggled work and raising a family on her own.
“Those years were some of the most difficult of my life,” said Mrs. Jacobus. 
Recent census reports indicate that there has been a significant increase in single parent households.  More than 13 million men and women find themselves in the position of parenting alone. Things that have never been issues before are now on the radar screen, often producing anxiety, fear and many sleepless nights.
Don* has been a single parent of three for 6 years. 
“Moving here from the north I really didn’t know a soul. I had no family here, no support that I was aware of anyway,” he said. “I had only been in town nine months.  The biggest obstacle for me was keeping all of the balls up in the air.  I was starting a new business and trying to keep my family going. 
“When I became a single parent it was a highly emotional time,” said Don.  “I was living in a one-bedroom place. At the outset it was very difficult.  I realized I was not emotionally secure.  I remember taking lunch hours to do laundry at the laundry mat.”
    Don found that there were resources available to him to assist in his parenting efforts.  “The aftercare program at school was a lifesaver,” he said.  “There were teachers and friends who helped out in many ways.  We were befriended by many people to whom I will always be grateful.”
    Single parents who are trying to find out how to make it work may find these suggestions from seasoned single parents helpful:
Get organized – Make a plan for moving forward.  Take time to sort through activities, job demands, a budget, resources available, etc.  This will help you to be more in control of your situation and to focus on what is important.
Focus on family – Set expectations, keep the lines of communication open and set aside time to be together as a family.
Throw perfection out the window – It isn’t about having it all together.  It is about doing the best you can under difficult circumstances.
Ask for help  - It is not a sign of weakness to ask for help.  There are resources available, but you have to make the connection. Neighbors, church friends, and co-workers are often ready and willing to step up to the plate. 
Take one day at a time – After you have put a plan together, don’t get overwhelmed by the big picture.
“Looking back, one of the best things I could have done for me and my children was to allow people to help.  People such as myself often shy away from networks for fear of being seen as weak, ” said Mrs. Jacobus. “I now realize you don’t have to do it all by yourself.  Although being a single parent is not something I would wish to be, the experience made me a much stronger, more independent person.”