Bruce and Susan Rogers knew the time was coming when their oldest daughter would leave for college.  Several friends told Mrs. Rogers that things would never be the same.  She vowed that their family would be different.   

“We anticipated that it would be hard to leave her,” said Mrs. Rogers.  “But driving away was a lot more difficult than either of us imagined.  I cried until I thought I couldn’t cry anymore.  Not necessarily just because I was sad, but because I truly knew that things were going to be different from this point forward.”

According to a study conducted of high school seniors, more than 90 percent of today’s high school seniors expect to attend some type of college, which means the Rogers are probably not the only parents trying to figure out how they will adjust to this transitional time in the life of their family.

“After we returned home, the first thing we noticed was the quiet,” said Mrs. Rogers.  “We still had one daughter at home, but the house was much quieter than normal.  Every time I walked past Lauren’s bedroom her absence seemed to be magnified.   During the first few months, I worried about her safety and if she would be comfortable at a school where she did not know a soul.  I worried because instead of knowing her friends and being able to put names with faces, we only heard about she met.  The reality is, this is an adjustment and the only way we found to get past it was to walk through it and take one day at a time.”  

Since taking Lauren off to college four years ago, the Roger’s youngest daughter has also flown the coop.  Now, they are truly empty nesters.

“Once I got past the worrying part, I think we both realized that we did a good job in preparing the girls to be on their own,” said Mrs. Rogers.  “We are adjusting to being a couple again and being able to eat dinner where we want to eat dinner and see the movies we want to see.  We are really having fun together.”

When asked what words of wisdom she would share with parents preparing to send their teen off to college, Mrs. Rogers had this to say:

•  Acknowledge that things will be different.  Don’t try to avoid it.  See this for what it is, a transition.  Talk with your family about how the changes might impact life at home.
• As you prepare for the departure, don’t be surprised if little spats arise that just seem out of the ordinary for your family. 
• “We found ourselves arguing about things that didn’t really matter,” said Mrs. Rogers. “Looking back, we could all see that the tension probably had a whole lot more to do with the pending separation than whatever the argument was about.”
• Start now discussing things that you want to make sure your teen understands instead of waiting until you are driving off to school.
• The first time your young adult comes home from college (we refer to it as re-entry) will probably be a little weird.  It will take time to adjust to playing a different parental role.
• We took a trip together in the fall after they both left and that was really good for us as a couple.

“Looking back, I would say it has definitely been an adventure,” said Mrs. Rogers.  “We had routines and specific things we knew we could count on when the girls were at home.  When they left we had to learn a new routine that included them coming home and leaving again and planning meals for two instead of four.  The reality is, life is never going to be the same and yet we realize that is really the way it is supposed to be and now we are enjoying this new phase in our life.”