“For the two years before the divorce was final, I was ordered to pay living expenses for my ex-wife because she had not worked when we were married,” said Steve. “Looking back over the five years, I have spent more than $60,000 just trying to defend myself and do what is in the best interest of our children. If I count the time off, low performance, anxiety and stress that I have experienced in those years, the economic impact is probably much greater.”
Many have said that marriage is a private institution and what happens between a husband and wife is their business. After hearing a portion of Steve’s story, you may be thinking that the financial impact is great for those who actually go through a divorce, but it doesn’t really affect you Joe Public. However, according to research, that is erroneous thinking. A preliminary report entitled The Costly Consequences of Divorce in Utah: The Impact on Couples, Community and Government, indicates divorce and its direct and indirect economic consequences costs the United States 33.3 billion per year or $312 per household in the country. It is estimated that the average divorce costs state and federal governments $30,000 in direct and indirect costs (Direct costs include – child support enforcement, healthcare costs, or Tenn Care in our case, Temporary Assistance for Needy People funds, food stamps, public housing etc. Indirect costs include – legal fees, lost work productivity, correctional facilities, unwed childbearing, dealing with drug problems, delinquency, criminality and other social problems linked to divorce). Given this information, the cost to the state of Tennessee, looking at Census 2000 data, is more than $1 billion annually.
In 2003, there were 1,356 divorces in Hamilton County. Based on the research numbers, the minimum financial impact of divorce nationally on our own community costs us $312 per household. With 123,000 households in Hamilton County, we paid a whopping $38,376,000 for divorce in 2003.
You might be disturbed by these numbers, yet find yourself at a loss as to what you as a citizen can do to stem the tide of divorce. The truth is, we can all do a great deal to decrease divorce in our community. Research shows that approximately 30 percent of divorces in the United States involve marital relationships with a high degree of conflict. Divorce in these situations is often in the best interest of those involved. However, 70 percent of marriages that end in divorce are low conflict and in many instances could be saved.
A great place to start is the care and feeding of your own marriage. Research shows that it is best to participate in some type of marriage enrichment once a year to help keep your marriage healthy and on track. In addition, tend to your marriage on a daily basis by making sure you are talking to each other, spending time together, and guarding against letting children, commitments, work, etc. take precedence over your marriage relationship.
If you are an employer, consider offering premarital education and counseling as part of your employee assistance package. Lunch and learn lessons on communication, conflict resolution, problem solving, finance management and decision-making are beneficial for the employee as well as the employer. Consider underwriting the cost for couples to attend marriage enrichment as part of your benefits package. If an employee is considering divorce, encourage them to attend one of the local educational programs on the impact divorce has on children. US corporations lose billions annually in lost man-hours due to marital stress and divorce.
Redefine divorce as a last resort for you and for people with whom you have influence. Encourage your friends to seek help when they are having trouble instead of waiting until so much damage has been done that it would be hard for anyone to help put the pieces back together again.
When our community steps up to the plate as a united front to battle divorce, we all stand to gain. Consider the ways you can help strengthen marriage and stem the tide of divorce in our community in 2006.
