Best Selling Author Bill Beausay wrote a book called “Teenage Boys: Surviving and Enjoying These Extraordinary Years“. Although the book is titled for teen boys, much of its content is applicable for teenage girls as well. In the book, he suggests rather than fighting your teenage children in every discipline situation, simply tell them calmly “You can do that if you want to, but you’ll wish you hadn’t”, then go on with the rest of your day. Bill’s suggestion carries weight when you realize that kids typically aren’t thinking ahead when given this type of ultimatum.
They have conveniently forgotten that you control their shelter, food, clothes, luxuries, Xbox play, vacations, allowance, transportation, and virtually everything else. They have forgotten that in two days they will be asking you for an advance on their allowance and a ride to the theater and are unaware that you will be responding with “Remember when I told you you’ll wish you hadn’t-- Well…”
This is called The Discipline of Disengagement and means that rather than going back in forth with your child, you simply inform them of the negative consequences that can come from making short sighted and self-serving decisions. The common refrain heard in our house is “you can make decisions like that if you want, but just remember that with every action there are positive and negative consequences.”
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