Things happen in waves around my office and the wave that keeps crashing at my door this week are articles and research on pornography and its effects on men and marriage. I took it one step further and started thinking about how it affects our kids.
Listen up dad: if you have internet devices in your house or if your child has an internet capable phone there is a good chance that porn is invading your home without you even knowing it. In articles from The Good Man Project and the New Yorker, researchers draw a connection between the ill effects of porn and healthy sexual satisfaction. These reports go on to show that marital sexual gratification takes a hit when a spouse can’t live up to the expectations created by pornography. The All Pro Dad organization recently wrote that “Men's obsession with Internet porn is affecting their libidos, and making it impossible for real women to satisfy them” and that porn-raised men develop a skewed view of sex.
Making the connection between this and the future effects on our children doesn’t require a jump across the Grand Canyon.
It’s hard to imagine a worse thing you could do to your kids than to turn your daughter over to a porn-raised man or to raise a son who can’t be satisfied sexually in marriage.
My son’s friend went to an AC/DC concert with his father two years ago when he was 12. At the concert, he saw drinking, body parts that should have been covered up and all sorts of unmentionable activities. Since then, the boy is easily bored and refers to age appropriate fun as “lame”. Where do you go from an AC/DC concert? This particular boy now considers everything that a normal 14 year-old would find fun as being childish. So where do think a boy goes from porn?
The sign “The End Depends on the Beginning” hangs over the entrance of a boarding school, Phillips Academy. This is a place where education has a profound effect on how things and people turn out. Are you having a profound effect on your children?
- Always check the history on your internet devices at home.
- Always “friend” your children on Facebook.
- Activate parental control software and computer settings. But remember that computer settings are no substitute for your own eyes and ears.
- Keep computers in common areas and away from your child's bedroom.
- Teach your kids character in these matters because you shouldn't try to control everything and because you can’t always be there.
