When it comes to break-ups, a scared girl is no match for an angry boy.
I was informed months ago by a group of ladies (and reminded recently) that breaking up with a boy is one of the scarcest things a girl will ever do. I was also told by these women who were recalling a decade-old memory that they wished their fathers had been closer either emotionally or physically when this moment occurred.
For those of you with boys who are tempted to stop reading, remember, it’s your boys who are going to scare those girls so listen up.
Domestic violence is not just domestic. Every year we hear stories of teen and young adult dating violence and even murder that takes place when a dating relationship goes bad.
Even without the violence, breaking up can still be a scary thing for a young girl. And for you dads with a son, if a breakup has occurred, you need to get in there and help your son sort through his disappointment before it turns into revenge or anger.
Dads need to take time periodically to remind their teens that dating should be more about relationships rather than romance. Tell your teens that quick involvement and controlling behaviors are signs that a relationship can become abusive.
Teach your teens to trust their instincts and talk with them about how to stay calm and work their way out of uncomfortable situations.
- Consider double-dating a few times first when dating someone knew.
- You and your teen should know that night’s itinerary.
- Cell phones should be charged.
- Six out of 10 rapes occur in a teen’s own home, that of friend or a relative- not some dark alley. Where were the parents?
- Be very specific about curfews.
- Keep emergency cash on hand in case your child gets stranded.
- Plan for the unexpected by coaching your teens on what to do when it comes to needing a ride home or away from a bad situation and how to forcefully and clearly say “no”.
- Have a code word or sentence that is your signal things aren’t going well and they need assistance from you.
- Reassure your teen that you love them no matter what.
