Relationship Quiz
Have you experienced any of the following:
• The inability to trust in relationships
• Fear of failure and doom—the sense that "the other shoe is going to drop" anytime things go well.
• Insecurity which causes them to become controlling in relationships or become passive-aggressive and resist the requests of their partner.
• The inability to communicate effectively.
• No role models of problem solving or conflict resolution because their parents’ only solution to their problems was dissolution.
If you answered yes to any of the above chances are you are an adult child of divorced parents.
Studies consistently show that adult children of divorced parents have a high rate of divorce in their own marriages. It is also true that they are more likely to suffer from depression and anxiety, have lower self-esteem and tend to tolerate or exhibit more abuse and neglect in their relationships.
Drs. Tom and Bev Rodgers are both adult children of divorced parents. In spite of being therapists, it took them years to realize there were many things they were doing that sabotaged their own marriage that were a result of their parents’ divorce. In fact, it wasn’t until they themselves were on the brink of divorce that they began to uncover the legacy of divorce in their own lives.
On October 3-4, 2008, The Rodgers will come to Chattanooga to present Forgiving, Forgetting and Moving On: A Seminar for Adult Children of Divorced Parents.
Since children of divorce are at higher risk for divorce than children of intact families you might think that this would deter the younger generation from matrimony, but findings show that generation Y is more motivated than ever to get married and stay married. The Rodgers believe we as a culture should do everything we can to help them meet this goal.
In their work, the Rodgers have found some common wounds of adult children of divorced parents:
Through their seminar, the Rodgers will discuss the common wounds of adult children of divorced parents (listed above in the quiz) as well as talk about solutions to the wounds of divorce for adult children such as:
• Awareness of how your parents’ divorce affected you
• Dealing with the pain of their divorce and moving to a place of healing and forgiveness
• Putting the unhealthy thoughts and beliefs about yourself and your marriage behind you
• Learning marriage relationship skills.
“I will say I know I would be divorced today had it not been for that wonderful woman that you brought here (Beverly Rodgers),” said Makala Bumgarner, who attended FTF’s Adult Children of Divorced Parents seminar in 2003. “It really changed my attitude, my ideas and my life! I have wanted them to come back and do another class just like the one they did back then. I have so many friends that suffer the symptoms and the DENIAL that I did before I became educated on this subject.”
Whether you are single or married, if you are an adult child of divorced parents, this seminar will teach you skills to help enhance the most important relationships in your life.
Mark your calendar for October 3rd 7-9 pm and October 4th 8:30 – Noon. The seminar will be held at the Oak Street Center located directly behind First Centenary United Methodist Church. The cost is $5 per person. To register go to firstthings.org or call 267-5383.
Tickets are $5 per person. Click Here To Register.
