A young girl was taking a riding lesson on a pony that was broke to ride, meaning it would allow someone to ride, but he still had a mind of his own. As the girl sternly commanded the pony to go, he stubbornly stood still. In spite of all her prodding and firm instruction, he continued to ignore her. The little girl turned to her mother and said, “He will not do what I tell him to do!” To which her mother responded, “Now you know how I feel.”
How many times have you given your child direction knowing that it was in their best interest only to be ignored? Truth be told, probably too many times to count. BUT do you stop instructing and teaching them? Common sense would say no.
Consider the Click it or Ticket Campaign, an effort to get everyone to wear seatbelts because research shows they save lives. Many teens are critically injured in car accidents because they aren’t wearing their seatbelt, but does that lead people to the conclusion that the program isn’t working? No, because while some don’t heed the advice, many others are wearing seatbelts and clearly lives are being saved.
What about driving while intoxicated? From Mothers Against Drunk Driving to Red Ribbon Week and other alcohol awareness efforts, there has been a strong campaign to discourage young people from driving drunk, yet there are still young people who choose to get behind the wheel after drinking. Does this mean the campaigns are a waste of time and money? Doubtful.
“Most parents recognize that encouraging their teen to aspire to these goals is truly in their best interest,” said Joneen MacKenzie RN, President and Executive Director of WAIT Training, a national youth development and life skills program. Issues of the heart and the drama that takes place when a teen becomes sexually active (even if they do not get pregnant or get a disease) has led to higher levels of intensity and complexity in an adolescent’s life. Most adolescents when asked wish they would have waited for sex. As parents, caring adults, educators, nurses and other youth serving personnel, we should really help them wait.”
Throughout the past week the airwaves have been filled with stories about Bristol Palin’s pregnancy, a pregnancy that happened in spite of the fact that her mother encourages abstinence until and in preparation for marriage. Some have commented about this situation stating that clearly abstinence education doesn’t work.
The latest research shows that fewer teens are having sex and that the age of first sexual debut has risen over the past decade. Another noteworthy consideration from the analysis of the current data is that the age group most at risk for non marital pregnancy is not school-aged children, but rather 19-24 year olds.
“Because we live in a sex without strings culture all kids are at risk for this wonderfully natural behavior that connects one to another and feels so good,” said Ms. MacKenzie. “The message we need to convey is that sex is wonderful and the BEST sex happens in a lifetime, committed, monogamous healthy marriage. The fact that they don’t always listen to us cannot deter or discourage us from still encouraging them to strive for the ideal of whole person adolescent health when it comes to abstinence, safety behind the wheel, alcohol or drug use or even saying please and thank you! The constant drumbeat from the media that abstinence until and in preparation for marriage is not realistic is not well advised.”
Think about this for a moment. The United Nations mission is world peace. Have we ever had world peace? No we have not, but most people would say that it is a worthy goal.
“The research on the Best Friends abstinence and youth development program in Washington, DC is stellar!” said Ms. MacKenzie. “Elayne Bennett and her staff work with the highest risk girls whose social norm was to have a couple of babies by the time they were sixteen. Yet, the girls enrolled in the BEST Friends Program not only graduated from high school without ever being pregnant and 97 % of them had remained abstinent! Let’s talk about that!
