When Carol Weisman and her husband were stationed at Fort Bragg, North Carolina she realized a few months before Christmas the impossibility of spending the holidays with her family. Feeling a bit down she decided to bake cookies with her young sons and take them to the Army hospital for her sons to give away.
“It was the most amazing thing,” said Mrs. Weisman. “Hours before the boys had been talking about all kinds of things they were going to put on their Christmas list. When their focus turned to baking the cookies and giving them away they forgot about themselves. On our way home that day my son Teddy said, ‘Sometimes the cookies you give away taste the best!’ I realized at that moment that it doesn’t take much to show kids how great giving can feel.”
The holiday catalogs have already started arriving in the mail. Several stores have been decorated for Christmas since Halloween. Soon our children will see lots of brand new toys that the person on the television tells them they must have.
“Children today are inundated with all kinds of messages about being consumers – to want for themselves rather than to give of themselves,” said Ms. Weisman. “But putting a cell phone in their pocket and the right shoes on their feet will never provide the long-term happiness fix children crave.”
In the past several weeks there are probably very few children who have not overheard or participated in conversations with their parents about the economy and how much money has been lost. Yet these same parents will not share at the end of the year with their children what they are giving to and why they give. Ms. Weisman believes this is a window of opportunity that parents could easily open to teach their children about being great givers.
“We talk to kids about money all the time like how much we are willing to pay for a prom dress or what we just spent on those braces in your mouth, yet we won’t talk with them about how we give, how much we give and what we value,” said Ms. Weisman. “It doesn’t make any sense.”
So what is the right age to introduce your children to charitable giving? Weisman believes that even at the young age of three or four children can begin to grasp giving and caring for others.
“Whether you have a lot of money to give or you are operating off of a shoestring there are lots of creative ways to teach children about giving,” said Ms. Weisman. “Asking questions like, ‘What did you enjoy doing this past year?’ or ‘What makes you happy?’ can help you help your children make a donation to something meaningful to them. If they like watching Sesame Street then you can help them give a donation to PBS so other children can watch it too. My youngest son, who is now a high school art teacher, was interested in art at a very early age. He became a donor to the Craft Alliance and to this day he takes his students on a field trip to visit Craft Alliance and proudly shows them where he was given a brick with his name carved in it.”
Teaching your children to be great givers can also strengthen the bonds of family and friendship.
“When our children were older we began having family meetings to determine what charities we would support,” said Ms. Weisman. Everybody had input. We used Monopoly money to help the kids visually see where all the money was going. When all of the money had been divided up our son Jono still has some charities to which he wanted to donate. When we explained there was no money left, he looked at his father and said, ‘You are just going to have to work harder,’to which his father replied, ‘I’m pedaling as fast as I can.’
A rich closeness has developed in this family as a result of coming together to share what they valued, what made them happy and experiences that had helped them be who they are today. If this is something near and dear to your heart mark your calendar for November 20th at 7:30 pm at Chattanooga School for the Arts and Sciences when Ms. Weisman will share with the greater Chattanooga community about teaching your children the joy of giving. This event is free and open to everyone. For more information visit www.uwchatt.org
