Spring is here and for many that means their wedding day is right around the corner. Most brides have experienced a melt down while thinking about everything that has to get done and how much it will cost.
Last April, Alishea Hixson was 90 days from her “big day” and definitely feeling the pressure. In preparation for her wedding, she attended weddings with pen and paper in hand to note the things she liked and might want to include in her ceremony. She took pictures, talked to other brides, looked at websites and magazines and purchased a planner to help her keep things under control.
“I still remember the preparation part like it was yesterday,” said Mrs. Hixson. “I wanted the day to be beautiful and memorable. We were working with a very tight budget, which required a lot of creativity and the realization that we would be doing a lot of things ourselves.”
On average, U.S. couples spend $20,398 for their wedding according to the website costofwedding.com. However, the majority of couples spend between $15,299 and $25,498 in spite of the fact that their wedding budget is typically 50 percent less than the actual amount spent. This does not include the cost of the honeymoon or engagement ring.
“Even when you know the dollar amount you are supposed to stick to, it is very hard,” said Mrs. Hixson. “Many of my friends who were also getting married were throwing lavish receptions with fun gifts for guests. I compared what they were doing to what I was going to do and started telling myself that our wedding was going to be a disaster. Finally, when David, my fiancé, had heard enough comparisons, he reminded me that this day was about us and should be a reflection of what is important to us. We had to come to grips with what was really important and what made a wedding our wedding. All the fancy stuff is nice, but not necessary to have a beautiful wedding.”
After getting a grip, Mrs. Hixson made two decisions that made a huge difference in her attitude about wedding preparations and her wedding day. First, she stopped comparing her wedding to everybody else’s and requested assistance from friends to help her be creative. For example, she found a ring bearer’s pillow that she really liked, but it was totally out of her price range. She showed the pillow to her future mother-in-law who proceeded to make one that looked exactly like the one she saw in the store. They ended up spending $8 instead of $40.
Second, Mrs. Hixson decided that no matter what happened the day of the wedding, it would not ruin the day. If the cake fell, it rained or someone made a mistake during the ceremony it just didn’t matter. At the end of the day she would still be married to the man she loved.
If you or someone you love is preparing for a spring wedding, here are a few tips to help take the pressure off:
- Limit the number of wedding attendants and guests. You may want to include only family and a few close friends at the ceremony.
- Make your own bouquets and boutonnieres.
- Ask a photographer friend to take pictures. Put disposable cameras out at the reception so guests can help you create great memories.
- Make your own wedding favors.
- Be creative with your reception. While the church fellowship hall may be an option, what about considering a nearby park or the home of a friend?
“Looking back, I remember everything about our wedding day,” said Mrs. Hixson. “I think the key was getting over myself and making the decision to quit worrying about things that really didn’t matter. There may have been a few glitches, but it was a beautiful day and we stayed within our budget. I am thankful I didn’t cave into the pressure.”
Copyright ©2010 First Things First
