For months seniors have been telling their parents they can’t wait to be away from house rules. Finally, graduation has arrived and in a few months they will head off to college and decide for themselves when to go to bed, where they keep their phone and computer and how late they stay out. Overnight, the “what if” syndrome kicks in. What if I chose the wrong college? What if I don’t make any friends? What if I am choosing the wrong career track?
Your confident senior turns into a nervous wreck.
“This is an interesting time for parents and their graduating senior as they prepare for the next step in their journey,” said Jim Mancke, guidance counselor at the McCallie School. “Spring semester I often have seniors sit in my office and tell me how ready they are to graduate and how excited they are about what the future holds. In the blink of an eye the conversation changes as they wonder out loud if they are prepared to make it away from home.”
Oddly enough, just as the students are experiencing a mixed bag of emotions, so are their parents.
“As reality sets in for parents that their child will soon be leaving the nest, we often see parents getting clingy,” said Mr. Mancke. “They realize a big transition is coming and there are still some tidbits they wish to pass on yet they don’t have much time to do it. They grasp hold at a time when their teen is trying to be more independent. Needless to say, this can make for a very interesting summer.”
The good news is all of this is a natural reaction to graduation. What can parents do to help their senior successfully leave the nest?
“The most important thing parents can do at this time is listen,” said Mr. Mancke. “I have a sign in my office that says, ‘What kids need most is a good listening to.’ One of the greatest gifts you can give them is to let them talk about all of the things running through their mind without minimizing what they may be feeling.”
Mr. Mancke makes these additional suggestions to help prepare your teen to leave the nest with confidence.
- Remind them that when seeds of doubt get planted in their mind, they can choose to water them and let the lies grow or they can pluck them out quickly before the roots get too strong.
- A little stress is good! Any new journey we go on will by definition produce anxiety. You can’t help but wonder about this, that and the other. The little bit of anxiety goes a long way to help us perform at our best.
- Point out to them that the applicant pools have never been larger than they are now. If they received an acceptance letter, they can rest assured that the institution believes they can handle the work. The letter speaks volumes about the preparedness they bring to the college campus.
Last, but not least, don’t think that nobody on the college campus will care. There are many people on campus who want to see their students do well.
