Carey Casey, CEO of the National Center for Fathering and author of Championship Fathering: How to Win at Being a Dad, was fortunate to have a very involved father. In his book, Casey recalls how his father would say, “Boys, let’s go for a drive.” Looking back, Casey realized it wasn’t really about the drive, but it was about what his daddy wanted to teach while he had a captive audience. His dad would say things like, “You know, boys, it would break my heart if I ever heard that you hurt a young lady in any way,” or “If it ever got back to me – and you know it would get back to me – that you boys were messing with drugs, we’d have to do some serious business. Know what I mean?”
The father-lessons Casey received from his dad have had lasting impact. Unfortunately, millions of children in our society will not get a chance to have lessons like these because their father is not involved in their lives. More than 27 million children go to bed each night without their biological father in the home.
Carey Casey is on a mission to help men become championship fathers. With more than 65 million fathers in America, Casey’s dream is to see these men step up to the plate and be the fathers their children need them to be. The National Center for Fathering developed seven criteria to help fathers examine how involved they are in their child’s life. Take a moment to consider how well you are doing.
- I often discuss things with my child. You want your child to grow up knowing that dad always talks to him about stuff.
- My child and I often do things together. It is important for you to get comfortable in your kids world and welcome them into yours.
- I schedule time to spend with my child. Make appointments on your schedule to spend time with your child. Father-child time often falls prey to requests for your time from others. If someone requests that time, tell them you already have an appointment.
- I teach my child skills. Make a list of skills you want to teach your child. Spread these out over time and be sure to keep them age-appropriate.
- I take an active role in my child’s education. Most dads could be far more involved in their children’s education. Can you name the teachers, coaches, and administrators who have had the biggest impact on your child?
I am involved in my child’s life. Too many dads cannot name their child’s three closest friends or their favorite ice cream flavor. What does your child dream of being when he grows up?
My child and I have fun together. Do everything in your power to keep the laughter and fun in your relationship. Find out the things your child loves to do and join in.
Research is clear that lack of father involvement is linked to children experiencing higher rates of poverty, failure in school, teen pregnancy, substance abuse, violent crime, depression and ultimately a loss of hope.
After reading through the seven criteria, are there ways you can be more involved in your child’s life?
Carey Casey will be speaking in Chattanooga on September 16th. For more information, visit firstthings.org.
