Andy Andrews describes his upbringing as very normal. He lived in a middle class family, until he lost both of his parents at the age of 19.
“My mother died of cancer,” said Andrews. “While I was still reeling from my mother’s death, my father was killed in a car accident. I made a series of bad decisions, nothing really huge or horrible, just a bunch all in a row and ended up homeless before it was even a word.”
Andrews was sleeping under a pier and described himself as mad at the world – mad at his mom for dying of cancer, mad at his dad for not wearing a seatbelt and mad at God for allowing all of this to happen.
“In the midst of all this, I met a guy late one night under the pier,” said Andrews. “His name was Jones. He was the first person to tell me the truth about myself. Instead of sugarcoating things, he wouldn’t let me get way with excuses or complaining. He talked a lot about perspective. He told me that people think they need answers, but what they really need is perspective.”
For example, one evening Jones brought dinner to Andy consisting of Vienna sausages and sardines. They were sitting on the beach eating when Jones asked Andy what he was having for dinner. With some sarcasm in his voice he replied, “Vienna sausages and sardines.” After he and Jones finished their conversation and Jones was about to leave, he turned to Andy and said, “By the way, I had surf n turf for dinner with an ocean view.”
While Andy Andrews would tell you that his life did not suddenly get better after meeting Jones, things did start to change. Jones encouraged him to read biographies of people like Christopher Columbus, Anne Frank, Abraham Lincoln, and Viktor Frankl.
Eventually he read more than 200 biographies. As things started to click, Andrews began to see some principles emerging that he started to live by such as understanding that calm leads to clear thinking. Clear thinking leads to ideas and ideas lead to answers.
“During this time, I realized that while I had made some poor choices in my life, I had the ability to make some good decisions and that life was not just a lottery ticket where some people are winners and others are losers,” said Andrews. “I had to take responsibility for my life and start determining what my life was going to be like. While I could not control the craziness, I could control how I responded.”
Mr. Andrews credits Jones with teaching him that responsibility is about hope and control. If you don’t take responsibility for your life it is hard to have hope.
“It took me a long time, but I finally figured out that in spite of everything that had gone wrong, if I was still breathing then that meant there was still hope for my life,” said Mr. Andrews. “I haven’t accomplished what I am here to accomplish, which means the most important part of my life is still to be lived. Talk about motivation to get out and do something!”
Another important lesson Andrews learned was not to necessarily ask the question, ‘Is this right or wrong?’ but ‘Is this a wise thing to do?’
“I made many unwise decisions early on that weren’t necessarily wrong, they just weren’t wise,” said Andrews. “If I had sought out wisdom from others I might have made better choices.”
Perhaps you have lost your job or your marriage, have a wayward child or have made some poor choices in the past. Take heart. All is not lost. If you are still here, there is hope.
Today Andy Andrews and his wife have been married for 21 years and they have two children. He is a best-selling novelist (The Traveler’s Gift and The Noticer) and highly sought after speaker on a mission to help people look at life a little differently, take responsibility and make wise choices.
Copyright ©2010 First Things First
