Last January Jason Krafsky and his wife Kelli wrote blog posts about Facebook and marriage.  Little did they know what they were stirring up!

 “We wrote the posts because we had seen so many marriages unnecessarily sidetracked by a spouse reconnecting with an old flame on Facebook,” said Mr. Krafsky.  “The posts were re-tweeted and referenced all over the place.  We were getting comments and emails from people, some of them heart wrenching, saying thank you for helping me know I’m not crazy for being upset that my spouse is “friending” people he/she has been in relationship with in the past.”

 One woman wrote that she noticed that all of her husband’s friends on Facebook were women.  When she addressed it, he told her it was no big deal.  She didn’t know what to do or where to go to find help until she ran across the Krafsky’s posts. 
A husband shared that his wife had reconnected with a high school sweetheart and left her family to be with a man she hadn’t seen in many years.

 “Some of the stories we heard were crazy and so totally unnecessary,” said Mrs. Krafsky.  “Many of these people were already struggling in their marriage and Facebook revealed the problem.  Our goal was to try and reach out to people before they make an extremely poor choice that will impact them and many others for a very long time.”

 The Krafskys are quick to point out that it isn’t the technology that is the biggest threat.  They believe it is the choices people are making on and off line. 

 “Lack of boundaries is a huge issue,” said Mr. Krafsky.  “If you don’t have good boundaries you have no business being on Facebook or any other cyberspace social networking or game sites.  It’s just too risky.  The other issue is when people get caught for crossing the line they usually don’t handle it well.”

 As a result of their blog posts, the Krafskys realized there was a real need for solid information that could help couples navigate cyberspace without putting their marriage at extreme risk. Their soon to be released book, Facebook and Your Marriage, will give couples helpful tips and assist those who are stuck in a situation to get back on track.  

 Here is a sneak peak at some of the tips:

• Don’t friend ex’s – This includes anybody you have shared a physical or emotional connection with in your past.
• Be picky about your friends – Before “friending” someone ask yourself, would my spouse be uncomfortable with me being “friends” with this person?
• Share your user name and password with each other - This is good accountability.  You should not be doing anything online that you wouldn’t want your spouse to know about.
• Don’t post negative things about your spouse – Airing your relationship issues online makes everybody  else uncomfortable. 
• Set limits for how much time you will spend online – Spending all of your evening hours online puts your marriage at risk. 

“Whether it is Facebook or something else, establishing personal boundaries is a part of everyday life with friends, co-workers, clients, and extended family members,” said Mr. Krafsky.  “Setting up boundaries around your marriage relationship is key to proactively protecting yourself, your spouse, your marriage, your kids, and your reputation.”

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