Dealing with In-Laws
How to be a good mother/father-in-law
- Let your in-law make his/her own decisions without meddling from you.
- As the relationship between your child and his chosen partner deepens, expect that they will want to spend more and more time alone, together.
- Make positive comments about your child’s spouse – both in private and in public.
- See your in-law as an individual. Do not compare him/her to others, and do not become too wrapped up in the stereotype of the “perfect” in-law.
- Make your in-law feel needed.
How to be a good son/daughter-in-law
- Maintain direct contact with your in-laws. Don’t enlist your spouse as an unwilling “go-between.”
- Find a comfortable way of addressing your in-laws. Solicit their help in determining what they would like you to call them.
- Try to see your in-laws as individuals separate and apart from the role they play.
- Be real and authentic with your in-laws.
- If you feel jealous about your spouse’s relationship with his/her parents, talk to your spouse, to better understand each other’s feelings.
How to be a good child/spouse
- Encourage your partner and your parents to relate to one another directly. Don’t allow yourself to be put in the middle.
- Compliment your spouse and your parents in front of each other.
- Do not tolerate criticism from either one toward the other.
- Do not make your spouse responsible for the relationship between you and your parents.
- Do not play your spouse against your parents.