Sometimes the closeness of a father/daughter relationship can interfere with the couple relationship.
For example, one couple was arguing over purchasing a $600 set of dishes. The husband said they could not afford them. The wife was furious. When she told her father that her husband would not purchase the dishes, her father purchased them for her. Some might say, “Why is this a problem? He was just trying help.”
Most relationship experts would tell you the dad crossed a line. He got in the middle of something that the couple needed to figure out for themselves. If she knows that every time there is a disagreement about spending money she can run to her father and get what she wants, eventually two things will happen:
Neither of these outcomes are good for the marriage.
Couples need to openly discuss these potential pitfalls in their marriage and agree ahead of time about boundaries and expectations within their marriage.
While it may be difficult, once your daughter is married, it is important for you to step back emotionally. Even though you enjoy doing things for your daughter, it is better to ask yourself if what you are about to do is going to be helpful to their marriage. If the answer is no, don’t do it. OR, ask them how they would feel about you helping. If both aren’t in agreement that it would be helpful, then don’t do it. Let them figure it out.
It is hard to believe that any guy will ever measure up and be good enough for your daughter. If you want their marriage to be successful, guard against being critical of your son-in-law.
Recognize it is not your job to control things.
While she will always be your daughter, her husband comes first.
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