In the movie Overboard, a woman with amnesia is tricked into being the mother of four and wife of one. Annie (the mother) gets fed up with the father for not spending time with his children. His response to her is that he ‘brings home the paycheck, which is what the man of the house is supposed to do.’ He goes on to explain that he is a pal to his kids.
Annie’s response to that is, “Your children have pals. What they need is a father.”
For many years, experts told fathers that the most important example they could set for their family was to bring home a paycheck and leave the parenting to the mother. Now, the latest research tells us that having a loving and nurturing father is as valuable as having a loving and nurturing mother for a child’s happiness, well-being and social and academic success. It isn’t just about bringing home the bacon.
Looking back, Scotty Probasco, Jr. recognizes that his dad did a whole lot more than just bring home a paycheck, and his influence is still present in his life today. He set an example that helped his children understand what it means to experience life to the fullest.
“My dad and I were as different as night and day,” Probasco said. He served in both World Wars and was a very stern man, yet he was a nurturing presence in my life. He showed me what it meant to be a loving husband and father by working hard, yet making sure that he spent time with our family. My dad believed that work was honorable and fun. He taught me that I ought to try to do things that would make the world a little bit better. Throughout my life, I have tried to live out the lessons my father taught me.”
Mr. Probasco, Sr. set an example for his son that not only taught him about taking care of his family, it taught him about the greater good: Understanding that it is not all about you. He knew that some of the greatest blessings people receive are from giving to others.
Decades later, there is no doubt that involved dads do make a difference in the lives of their children. However, some fathers struggle to know how to engage their children in order to provide a nurturing example.
Here are suggestions from the experts about ways to connect with your children:
Don’t underestimate the significant role you play in your child’s life.